"I recently saw a news report about an Army veteran named John Crabtree who had been receiving benefits from the government. Evidently, he had been wounded in Vietnam and was now on permanent disability. One day, out of the blue, he received an official notification from the government of his own death. Needless to say this was quite a shock!

"Mr. Crabtree wrote the government a letter stating that he was indeed very much alive and would like to continue receiving his benefits. The letter did no good. He tried calling the government. (Have you ever tried to call the government?) The phone calls didn’t change the situation either. Finally, as a last resort, the veteran contacted a local television station, which ran a human-interest story about his situation.

"During the interview, the reporter asked him, ‘How do you feel about this whole ordeal?’ the veteran chuckled, ‘Well, I feel a little frustrated by it. After all, have you ever tried to prove that you’re alive?’

"That’s a pretty good question for all of us? Could you prove that you’re alive? Really, genuinely, deeply alive? When was the last time you had an alive moment? Not the last time you took a breath or had your heart beat inside your chest, but the last time you felt yourself alive to your living, … deeply present to the gift of life itself?" (R.Scott Colglazier in Finding a Faith that Makes Sense (Chalice Press, 1966)).

For the last several weeks during Lent, we have been focusing on discovering our purpose and truly living in God. During those six weeks, we were, at a foundational level, looking for the gift of life. We thought about different religious concepts; worship, fellowship, discipleship, ministry, and evangelism. Today, given the assigned readings for the day, it seems that we need to think together about being alive with faith.

Let’s take a look at Thomas, as an example of a man who lived with faith. What? Are you a little confused that the man known as the doubter could also be known as a man of faith? Well, let’s learn a little more about this man.

First, Thomas was not a wimp. If we look back to 11^th chapter of John, we discover that he offered a view different from the other disciples. Jesus had heard that Lazarus was dead and had decided to go to Bethpage near Jerusalem. Some of the apostles tried to discourage him saying "But Lord, just recently in that area they were looking to kill you." Thomas on the other had responded, "Let us also go, that we may die with him."

Second, we have to ask where was Thomas? Where was he during this first appearance of the risen Christ? We heard in our gospel lesson that it was the night of the first day of the week. In the verses just before, we read that Mary Magdalene was out spreading the good news, but where was Thomas?

It is clear that the disciples had locked themselves away because they were afraid of the Jews. Imagine them meeting in terror, listening fearfully for any sign that the men of the Sanhedrin might be coming for them. Every knock on the door, every step on the stairs would have sent them cowering into closets. We know that the disciples are afraid. They had barricaded themselves inside. They had shut the doors. They had removed themselves from the world. They had withdrawn

The disciples were all there, all except Thomas. Where was Thomas? Maybe he was the only one who dared to go for food. Perhaps he was scouting out the situation, getting ready to come back and tell the others that it was safe for them to return to their homes. We can only speculate, but we do know that he was doing something that the rest of the disciples were afraid to do even if it was hiding out on his own.

Christ comes to be with them. Christ says, "Peace be with you." This is not a polite social greeting. This is the assurance of the resurrection and the incarnation of the Holy! Christ says, "Peace be with you. I am with you now and always!" What great Good News! And then Christ does something amazing with these fickle, disloyal, frightened followers; Christ loves them enough to use them. Christ says, "As the Father has sent me, even so, I send you." And what do they do, nothing it appears.

So once again, a week later, the disciples have gathered again in the house. Once again, they are behind the closed doors that remind us of their fear. This time Thomas is with them. And in spite of the tradition around a doubting Thomas, he ends the day by making the most powerful profession of faith ever. "My Lord and my God." This story is really about believing in order to see. It’s really about faith, as well as doubt. It’s about believing beyond the evidence.

The miraculous thing about Scripture is that, no matter how many times we read it we always find something new! We talk about this scripture being about doubting Thomas, even though the other disciples have just as much doubt and they have seen the evidence. This is actually the story of the doubting disciples. Yes, Thomas was not the only one who doubted that Christ stood before him; all of the disciples doubted the resurrection.

What’s the role of doubt in growing faith? A strong faith grows stronger through doubt. There’s a healthy connection that exist between faith and doubt. Doubt is the mechanism by which each generation finds its faith. Frederick Buechner wrote: "… if you never doubt the certainty of your position, you are either kidding yourself or asleep. Doubts are the ants in the pants of faith, they liven things up and keep us from falling asleep."

As I moved back into my regular schedule this week, I’ve had several discussions that are leading me say a little more about the study emphasis of our congregation during Lent. Several people have asked me this past week why I was enthusiastic about reading Purpose Driven Life if this book does not present United Methodist doctrine. Some seemed surprised to discover that it was not read in advance and approved by the Church Council.

Actually, several people whose faith I respect brought the book to my attention. We knew that it was on the New York Times bestseller list. I felt that any religious book on the bestseller list would be significant for a church congregation. I believe that we are free to accept some of the valuable teachings in this book and let go of what does not work for us. There is value in the process of reading and talking about these five pillars of faith.

The comments that I have heard this week have led me to think with you about the faith journey. One’s faith journey is the process by which one moves from an immature faith to a mature faith. I suspect that as a result of reading Purpose Driven Life some of us have ants in our pants, as Buechner puts it. I consider this a positive development and that it will be a growth opportunity. Faith is not a process of simply accepting what is set out before one to read. Faith grows by questioning and thinking together, especially in a supportive community.

About twenty years ago, biblical scholar and educator John Westeroff posed the question "Will our children have faith?" He explored the ways in which the church passes faith to the next generation, pointing out that the more involved parents are in their own faith exploration the greater likelihood that their children will develop a strong faith.

Recently, a colleague rewrote Westeroff’s question and posed a new one: "Will our faith have children?" In other words, will one let their faith grow and mature or keep it always in the same place? This may well be a more significant way of phrasing the question. Too often, I think we get so caught up in wanting to have all the answers, that w fail to ask the questions.

Recently, I heard on public radio a comment form a listener about our education system in the United States. She was an educator and felt the difference between public and private education was that the former taught children to memorize and the latter talk them to think. I’m not sure if that is the case, but I do know that the faith journey is more about thinking than it is about memorizing.

The remarkable lesson from today’s gospel is that God uses us even when we are not totally sure. The Prince of Peace commissions those of us who struggle with the reality and meaning of the resurrection and the incarnate Christ in our lives.

People will often confess to me - in the deepest shame - that they do not have a strong faith. They admit their doubt, and their struggle with their faith. Some confess that they are unconvinced that God exists. I assure them that their profound doubts have them in very good company. I remind them that Christ’s own handpicked disciples could not believe, even when the resurrected Christ stood before them, they too doubted.

Many of us read this passage of the doubting disciples and we say, "If I was there and I saw the face of Christ I would know!" I would recognize him! I wouldn’t need any more proof! I wonder if we would? I wonder.

Many people, when they hear the Easter story, think "We are going to be with God later, after we die." Whereas the Easter story says God is with us now. We do not have to wait until the hereafter to be with the crucified and risen Lord; the crucified and risen Lord is right here in our midst. As we reach out and touch the wounds of others, we reach out and touch the wounds of the risen Lord. What does it mean to be church, the body of Christ that carries his wounds for the world to see?

Christ has modeled for us a journey of self-sacrifice and divine love; a love which puts others before ourselves, while all at the same time loving ourselves. The miracle is this, that when we love others in the way Christ did, we will become Christ in this weary and broken world. When we gather together in community we are here for a reason. We are here to help one another in joy and in sorrow. It is in these encounters of joy and sorrow where we meet Christ abundantly! We meet Christ in the love we give others. And it's not just our brothers and sisters in Christ whom we are meant to welcome. We are called to reach out and serve all of God's beloved people in the many ways Christ did. We are to welcome our neighbors and our enemies with joy and love.

Knowing just how we are to do this is not always easy, but we never do it alone. Christ walks with us; Christ encourages us by saying just, "Follow me!" And we will follow Christ until we all come to a place where the world is a banquet with no one missing! A feast where no one is hungry or thirsty! A place so filled with love and compassion, that there is no more fear or loneliness.

We all long to be in that place, so we continue the faith journey as our gift to God. Christ reminds us "Peace be with you. I will be with you, always." When we live in that peace we are reminded that we must help each other. Jesus tells us, "As the Father has sent me even so I send you." We are sent by God, with Christ to carry the spirit of Divine Love to all people. The ones we love and especially the ones we can’t or won’t love. Not easy and when we doubt, well then Christ comes to us to show us the wounds of the Son of Man. He stretches out his palms to us that we might see his wounds. And we become like Thomas, men and women of faith!