YOUR WEDDING AT FIRST
UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
Christian Marriage
"Marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly, but reverently, discreetly, and in awe of God."
These words from the traditional marriage service describe the attitude which planning a wedding should take. Joy, happiness, and fun are all part of a wedding celebration. So also are reverence, solemnity and awe because few moments are more holy, and none are more important, than the one in which a man and a woman promise before God to love, honor and cherish each other through all of life's changes until they are parted by death.
A Christian marriage is not simply a cultural tradition, but a commitment before God. We will do everything possible to help you plan for your marriage as well as your wedding. A wedding is not a performance, but an occasion to worship God in celebration of your love and commitment to each other. This booklet is intended to help you plan your wedding at Chapel United Methodist Church in such a way that the life-long meaning of your marriage will be celebrated in that hour.
First Step
Contact the pastor as soon as you have decided to marry. You may have a particular date and time in mind and the pastor will try to accommodate that. This is not always possible, so it is important that you make your arrangements with the church before you arrange the reception. In order to complete the necessary pre-marital counseling, it is suggested that you allow not less than six months, preferably a year, when scheduling your wedding date.
The Initial Interview
The pastor will want to meet with both of you to learn more about you as a couple and to help you plan the details of the wedding. Usually a date for this interview will be set as soon as possible after your first contact with the church. The wedding date is not firm on the church calendar until this interview is complete and the deposit is received.
During the initial interview the pastor will ask you to describe yourselves, your family backgrounds, your hopes and dreams, and the history of your relationship. Also, you will be asked to take a pre-marital inventory instrument. The purpose of this is to identify any issues that should be discussed at that time or in later counseling sessions. The counseling will be as helpful to you as you want it to be. The pastor hopes to be a resource to you in this process, and someone you can feel comfortable talking with now and in the future.
Pre-marital Counseling is a necessity for us to fulfill our obligation to you and your responsibility to the church in which you plan to be married.
Normally, a total of three opportunities for the engaged couple and pastor to talk together are necessary to help plan your wedding, and your marriage. Other pre-marital planning programs, such as Pre-Cana, Engaged Encounter, or those offered by college or secular agencies are highly recommended. The pastor may also refer the couple to a professional counselor who has additional expertise in communications, step-parenting, money management or some other area to help the couple prepare for their marriage. This is the most important decision we make in life. It is important enough to prepare carefully for a life-long relationship.
A final interview usually takes place shortly before the wedding. At that time last-minute details are worked out and some time is taken to go over the wedding service so that the couple understands the full meaning of the words that they are about to say.
Planning the Service
Your service may include scripture or poetry read by friends and relatives, or some personal words may be appropriate. The couple may also want to write vows or prayers or statements to be included in the service. The pastor will want whatever is written to reflect the basic Christian understanding of marriage as a life-long commitment before God. You may wish to memorize your vows and say them to each other without prompting. You may wish to include other optional observances such as lighting a wedding candle together, or celebrating the sacrament of communion. If yours is a blended family, including children from previous marriages, you may wish to involve them in the service in a meaningful way.
Music
While not necessary for a small, informal wedding, music often is an important part of the wedding service. Our church organist is usually available to play and to accompany vocalists. The organist's fee is $75, although this may vary depending on the number of rehearsals necessary.
It is possible to use another organist with the prior approval of the pastor. The pastor will also want to discuss your choice of music. Music suitable for a Christian wedding will be spiritual in nature and will express values consistent with Christian values; most secular music does not meet that condition and should be saved for the reception.
Many fine alternatives to the traditional wedding march and recessional are available.
If you are interested in something different, please talk to the organist ahead of time. Soloists should also provide sheet music well in advance, to enable the organist adequately to prepare.
Photographs
We appreciate your desire for photographs capturing this special moment. However, In order to minimize distraction, and preserve the dignity of the service, professionals and guests are asked not to take flash photos during the ceremony from the end of the processional to the beginning of the recessional. We can reenact any part of the service afterward in order to get a proper picture.
Generally, formal photos are taken after the service. We ask that this be done before rice or birdseed is thrown, as it gets tracked back into the building. At that time, close-ups of the ring exchange, unity candle, etc., may be taken. Please expedite this time as much as possible for the convenience of those who are waiting to greet the wedding couple.
A professional may, with the pastor's permission, take non-flash photos from the back of the church. Also, videotaping is possible from fixed positions in the sanctuary, operated from the back of the sanctuary, or in the right corner of the choir loft. Consult with the pastor. In both cases, the photographer should take care not to draw attention to him or herself. We know you want visual mementos of your wedding, but that should not interfere with the service itself.
Flowers and Candles
The sanctuary requires a minimum
of decoration. Usually an altar arrangement and pew bows are sufficient. More
elaborate decorations are permitted, but should not overpower the altar cross
and candles. Our chancel candelabra are available for your use.
Many couples today light a wedding candle, or unity candle, during the service. It is a nice addition to the service, but is totally optional. This candle is then relit on your anniversary as a reminder of the occasion. Such candles may be purchased at Christian bookstores, or you may use a plain white 5" pillar candle. The church can provide the holder for the three candles, if you do not wish to purchase the entire set. The mother of the bride and the mother of the groom may wish to light the bride's and groom's candles prior to the service, as they are being seated.
An aisle runner may be furnished by the florist, or may be obtained at a
craft store. We ask that no tacks be used. Our aisle is 60 feet long to the
back door of the narthex. Flowers may be delivered by arrangement with the
church office. (440) 993-3806,
Please be considerate of the carpet and furnishings when attaching decorations. If candelabra are used, care should be taken to protect the carpet from wax dripping from the candles.
Rice or birdseed is permitted, but must be kept outside due to difficulty of clean-up. Please plan to take photographs prior to the throwing of rice or birdseed. Otherwise, it is tracked back into the Church. Balloons, bells, or bubbles are recent popular alternatives.
Handicapped Access
Our Sanctuary is easily accessible to those in wheelchairs through the elevator. A wireless hearing-aid system is also available for the hearing impaired.
Receptions
The church hall is available for receptions. Alcoholic beverages and smoking are not permitted in the Church building, however. Check with the church office for details.
Charges
A fee of
$75 must be paid by all for the services of the wedding coordinator, whom you
will find quite helpful to the bride and her attendants. In addition,
non-members are charged $200 for the use of the church building. There is a
$100 fee for members and their children. We request a $170 deposit to confirm
your date and that the balance be paid the week before the wedding in separate
checks or cash.
The pastor does not charge a fee for counseling nor for presiding at the wedding. His services are his wedding gift to you. An honorarium is not necessary nor expected. However, a donation to the Church for weddings which are not at the Church would be appreciated.
The Rehearsal
A small, informal wedding may not require a rehearsal. A large, formal wedding does. Rehearsals for Saturday weddings are generally held Friday evening. A time will be set at the initial interview. At the rehearsal we will walk through the entire service to familiarize everyone with it. Please have in mind the arrangement of attendants, who will escort the mothers, light the candles, and seating arrangements to avoid hurt feelings and wasted time at the rehearsal. Please encourage your wedding party to be on time for the rehearsal.
The wedding license is obtained at the Probate Court of the County of the bride's residence within the State of Ohio.. This is the responsibility of the couple. There is a five-day waiting period, and the license is good for 60 days. Please bring the marriage license to the rehearsal and present it to the pastor with the appropriate fees, if they have not already been paid to the Church office.
First United
(440) 993-3806